Chapter 6: Inferno

As interrogation rooms go, this one definitely had class. All gleaming steel and shining glass, with nary a bare bulb in sight. I suppose it was meant to feel institutional. I sat in a chair, facing a simple steel desk, awaiting my interrogator. I get that they're busy, but it was just rude to keep me waiting that long. Shortly after I had that thought, a somewhat burly-looking guy came in, followed by a more wiry-looking fellow. They wore uniforms of some kind, and sat down opposite me. The wiry one began to speak.

“This is going to be a lot easier if you cooperate. Here's how this will go, provided that you do do. I ask questions, you give me answers. We finish our little chat, we go our separate ways.”

I kind of stared blankly at him.

“Right then, we'll begin. What is your name?”

“Luke Skywalker.” I said, as seriously as I could manage.

“I see.” the wiry guy continued. “What do you know about Elia Terranova?”

“Well, I reckon that it has a few more vowels than is average, and sounds vaguely Italian.” I said, still keeping my poker face.

“Mmm hm.” he said, making notations on his pad. “Tell me about Planar Metaphysics.”

“I have no idea what that is.” I said. “Sounds complicated.”

“Right then. It seems our assessments were correct. We're going to have to use enhanced persuasion to get our answers.”

“That's a euphemism for 'torture', isn't it?” I asked.

“Ideally, we'd be the ones asking questions, Mr. Zurn.” the wiry guy said. “But I'll humor you. Yes, it is.”

“Lovely.”

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They moved me through a few corridors, all gleaming white. They sat me down in a cell, somewhat round, with a drain in the center. There was a camera and a speakerphone on the wall, and I wondered if a copy of 1984 had slipped through from our universe. The cell, corridors, and interrogation chamber all had an odd kind of psychic static permeating it, similar to the ones the Cylon things used, but somehow different as well. I worked on filtering it out while pretending to nap, but it was slow going. I wondered idly if Aislin was going through the same thing. Eventually, a guard came and took me to a room which was empty, save for a table with straps on it. It looked like it could easily hold a person, and I was quite sure that was its purpose. The speculation was rendered moot when the guard and several of his cohorts strapped me in. They didn't cut off any circulation, but there was no wiggle room, either. A door opened, and a tall, lean man with dark hair and darker eyes strode in. He sent the guards out with a quick motion of his hand, and turned to me.

“Niccolo Donatello, I presume.” I said. “Forgive me for not shaking your hand, but I'm a bit tied up at the moment.”

“Yes, quite.” he said with a slight chuckle. “Let's skip the pleasantries, then.”

“I took that as a given when leather straps came into the equation.” I said.

“We need not be enemies, Wil.” he said. “May I call you Wil?”

“It is my name.”

“Very well.” he segued. “You and I are both men of vision. Of great potential. We both see the world as incomplete. We both see how it could be improved. And we both have the power to improve it. Why would we not take advantage of this power?”

“Because with great power comes great responsibility.” I said, narrowly avoiding an eye-roll.

“Ah, the Gospel of Uncle Ben.” he said, laughing. “I agree. We, those with power, have the responsibility to mold the world into a better place.”

“Yeah, but I don't buy into that 'noblesse oblige' bull puckey.” I said. “I'm no better than any other person, merely because I can blow stuff up in new and interesting ways. My view of how the world should be is about as relevant as the opinion of my pet rabbit on Singapore's economy.”

“It would be such a waste to have to seal your power along with the others.” he said. “I will offer you one final chance to join me.”

“Look, even if I wanted to, I couldn't.” I said.

“Oh? And why is that?”

“I could never work with someone who dresses as cliched as you do. I mean, a red silk suit? Seriously? Hell called, they want their rag bin back. Oh, and MI6 is on Line Two. They want to know what you've done with James Bon-”

I was cut off by a searing pain in my lower leg. It seems that Niccolo had lost his cool in my direction, in the form of a fireball. He stalked out of the room, and signaled to one of the guards. The guard spoke into a radio briefly, but before I could make anything out, the door slammed shut. The table started to tilt backwards slightly, and I saw that the room was taller than I had previously suspected. There was also a window set into the wall a few meters up. Niccolo's voice came through an unseen speaker.

“I'm beginning the extraction process now.” he said. “I'd say you won't feel a thing, but I honestly have no idea. We haven't had the chance to test the apparatus. Just know that if you don't make it through, you'll have benefited science immeasurably.”

“Fantastic.” I said, unable to muster much in the way of enthusiasm.

There was a mechanical whirring sound from above, and a rather frightening device lowered from the ceiling, a visual cross between a 1940's vintage ray gun and a Shop-Vac. I closed my eyes, and furiously began chipping away at the mental static. It was like trying to save the Titanic with an ice pick, but I didn't feel as if I had much choice. Either I would succeed, or it would be rendered moot. The Ray-Vac continued on downward, and I silently cursed. I always hated the idea of Death By Cliché, and this was a prime example. I heard the Ray-Vac clank into position, and Niccolo said “Beginning Extraction process now. I'd say it's nothing personal, but my ascension to Godhood is very personal to me. If you die, I promise to have mercy on your soul.”

“Frak you, Donatello.” I said, my wit having evacuated the premises.

An electric hum emanated from the device, and it started to glow. I closed my eyes against the brightness. As the humming reached a soaring crescendo, I cringed inwardly. There was the sound of an explosion, a blast of heat, and then... nothing? No, not nothing. It was the same as before, but a tad warmer. I opened my eyes. The Ray-Vac had been reduced to several of its component atoms, Niccolo had vanished from the window, and in the middle of the room, with energy pulses primed, was a very pissed-off looking Aislin. I felt a sudden pang of sympathy for Niccolo, before filing it away under 'the bastard deserves it'.

“Wow.” I said. “Aislin ex machina.”

“Needs work.” she said, blasting my straps. I stood up momentarily, felt a leg give, and readjusted to balance on the other. I was then struck by a thought.

“How are you using your powers?” I asked. “There's intense psychic static here. I can barely hear myself think!”

“I'm using them the same way Donatello is.” she said. “I figured he had a sort of 'personal wavelength' so he wouldn't be affected, and I sort of 'tuned' into it.”

“When we get home, we're going to invent some jargon.” I said ruefully. “I'm not continuing this extended radio metaphor.”

“Fair enough.” she replied. “Can you walk?”

“I can hobble.”

“That's not going to work too well.” she said. “Here, lean on me a bit.”

I did, and she let out a gasp of pain. I eased up momentarily, and noticed that the shoulder I had leaned on was scorched similarly to my leg.

“I was wondering how you knew he could use his power.” I said, switching to the non-crispy side.

“Next time, try non-painful methods of discovery.” she said, wincing slightly.

I took a moment to try the 'tuning', and figured out how to do it.

“Ready to go?” she asked.

“No.” I said. “We can't go yet.”

“Yes we can.” she protested. “We can teleport out and nuke the site from above. It's the only way to be sure.”

“What about Elia?” I asked pointedly. “And the other Physicals? We can't just sacrifice them because they're in our way. I've seen Niccolo, and I don't want to get any of what he is on me.”

“Fair enough.” she said agreeably. “What about David and Deirdre, though?”

“They're out of radio range, and I doubt Niccolo would let us borrow a phone.” I said. “We should try to get ourselves, Elia, and the others to the roof by the time they arrive. We can signal them, and they can pick us up without falling into Donatello's trap.”

“But first, we'll need information.” Aislin pointed out. “Niccolo's office is probably in this building, right?”

“Yeah, and we know his password and filing system.” I said. “Aislin, m'dear? Would you care to join me for a jolly bit of hacking?”

“Indubitably, my good sir.” she responded formally.

And with that, we set off to find an elevator.

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Niccolo's office was on the top floor. All of the executive offices were, actually, with each founding member facing a cardinal direction. Donatello's office was to the north, according to a directory near the elevator. Walking up to it, I tried the doorknob.

“It's locked.” I said.

“No problem.” Aislin said. “I brought a key.”

She obliterated the door with an energy pulse, and stepped into the room. I followed as soon as my ears stopped ringing. The office had the usual accoutrements of a desk, window, tea set slash espresso machine, et cetera. Aislin cleared her throat rather pointedly, and I turned around. Against the far wall were three small prison cells, each large enough for one person, with cylindrical walls of force energy. Two of them held people I hadn't met before, and the third held Elia. They all looked rather startled.

“Oh, hi.” I said. “'Sup?”

“Get us out of these things, you тупоумно авторучка!” the Russian-looking woman yelled at me.

“Ok, I didn't catch that last bit, but it sounded rude.” I said. “Where's the off button?”

“It's on his desk, near his pen holder.” the big guy said. As I was moving to release them, I heard him say “I know you're angry, Darya, but he's trying to help. Calling him a stupid wanker is no way to start off a relationship.”

“I also have decent hearing, you know.” I said, a tad loudly. “But I'll let you out anyway.”

I hit the button, and the force walls shimmered out of existence. Elia, Darya, and Peter stepped out of the recesses, and moved away from them.

“So, Elia.” Aislin asked. “Would you care to make introductions?”

“Yes, of course.” she said. “Wil, Aislin. These are my friends, Peter Petrovsky and Darya Darshkova. They are the Avatars of Earth and Air, respectively.”

She turned to her friends, and said “Darya, Peter. This is Wil and Aislin, the Avatars of Order and Chaos. They came to help us.”

“Charmed.” said Aislin. “Now, shall we leave?”

“Not just yet.” I said.

“Aw, come on!” she protested. “We came, we saw, we stormed the Bastille! What more could we want?”

“Donatello's device, and his power, of course.” I said.

Upon receiving a blank look from three simultaneous sources (which is something I had not missed, incidentally), I explained.

“If we can somehow reverse the effects of the device, we can use it to strengthen the Multiverse instead of weaken it.” I began. “I saw the plans earlier, remember? It's designed to create feedback in the Planar Forge, slowly cutting off the flow of Planar energies. But if we could create a sort of 'carrier signal' instead of a feedback pulse, it should make the fabric of reality more like Kevlar and less like tissue paper. Which falls neatly into the category of 'why we're here', if you'll recall.”

“But why take Niccolo's power?” Elia asked. “And how?”

“The device needs the power of all eight Avatars to function.” I said. “As for the 'how', well... we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.”

“Where is this device?” Darya asked. “We do not know if he even constructed it!”

“We do, actually.” Elia interjected. “After I saw the blueprints, I remembered seeing it. He keeps it in his wall safe.”

She strode over to a vaguely ostentatious portrait of Niccolo Donatello, CEO of Donatello Industries (emphasis his), and swung it open. She keyed in a code, and a smaller metal door swung open as well. She withdrew a device that looked like a large pocket watch, and closed the doors once again.

“It's so small.” I said dumbly.

“Well, the best presents do tend to come in small packages.” Aislin pointed out.

“How did you know how to get into his safe?” Peter asked. “He would not have told us his combination.”

“Well, he did say what it was, once.” Darya said. “He said that it corresponded to his-” she broke off in mid sentence, seemingly having an epiphany. “мой бог!” she shouted, and I got the feeling it was a divine oath. Elia kind of blushed, and I didn't press the issue.

“Ok, more pressing question here.” I said, pointedly and hurriedly changing the subject. “How do we turn this thing to reverse?”

“I will do this.” Peter said. “If you have his designs, I can use them to alter it.”

“Good.” I said. “The plans are in his computer, his password is 'Entropy'. Someone should hang back, in case more goons show up.”

“That will be me.” said Darya firmly. “No goon will harm Peter while I yet draw breath.”

“Ok, good.” I said, planning as I was speaking. “Our other friends will be arriving with our airship in about half an hour, I'll tell them to join you. As soon as we have everything, we'll get aboard. Puck will have the location of the best spot for this to go down. Aislin, Elia, and I will go obtain Fire's power, and we'll meet you back here. Sound like a plan?”

There was a round of nods, and us three dashed out to meet an evil overlord. We had been gone for about two seconds, when Darya suddenly asked “Wait. Who's Puck?”

Peter merely shrugged, and went back to work.

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“He will probably be here, in the building somewhere.” Elia said. “He's not the type to simply run away after being beaten. He will try to strike at us once again.”

“Okay.” I said. “I have an idea.”

Ten minutes later, Niccolo entered the room where he had nearly committed Grand Theft Mojo not too long ago. Elia stood there to greet him.

“Why, Niccolo?” she said. “Why have you betrayed our friendship?”

“It was necessary.” he said. “My power gives me the responsibility to save the world. If I must destroy it first, then so be it.”

'You sound like you believe yourself to be a god.”

“One of supreme power, who creates a universe and is revered by all those beneath. A true god by any definition.”

The psychic static started up, controlled by Aislin and Elia in the control booth. Elia shimmered out of existence, and I stood in her place. Niccolo was shocked for a moment, and I dropped him with a sucker punch in the pause.

“You should have known better, Niccolo.” I said, shaking my head. “The clichéd villains always get beaten by the good guys. That's why it's, you know, a cliché.”

I dragged his insensate form over to the table, and strapped him in. He regained his wits as I was applying the last strap.

“You fool! Do you truly believe that you can defeat a demigod?” he yelled, frothing a bit at the mouth.

“I'm not actually sure.” I said. “But I sure as hell can beat your lame ass.”

I walked toward the door, pausing briefly to signal to Elia to start up the sequence. I then left the room, to watch from above.


“Well, at least he had one good idea.” I said as I entered the room. “Always keep a spare.”

“You never know when 'those meddling kids' will blow up your death ray.” Aislin said, nodding.

The Ray-Vac Mark II finished its ominous descent, and activated. There was a few seconds of blinding light, and then it went quiet. There was a small 'ding' from the console, and a capsule popped out of a door. It was about the size of a double-A battery.

“Essence of Fire.” I said sagely.

“What about Niccolo?” Elia asked.

We peeked out the window, and Niccolo Donatello was laying on the table, twitching slightly.

“I guess he's feeling a bit drained.” I quipped.

Aislin hit me, and I cringed a little.

“Let's go see if he's okay.” I suggested.

“And if he is?” Aislin asked.

“Then depending on what he says, we either help him up, or make him not okay.”

“Works for me.” Elia said, and walked out.

We followed her to the Torture Room, and as we entered, Niccolo raised his head.

“Elia? Is that you?” he said. “Oh, god. I'm so sorry!”

He broke down into an emotional puddle, and Elia started to go over to him, but Aislin held her back.

“Donatello.” she said. “Explain yourself.”

“It was the power of Fire.” he said. “I was careless, I let down my guard. The Evil got into my head, started warping my thoughts. He made me turn on you!”

“You were possessed?” I said skeptically. We already had enough movie archetypes.

“Yes, by Mordred.” he said. “On his last day of teaching all four of us, he took me aside. He had a device of some sort, he called it a 'phylactery'. He said it contained an ifrit, an extradimensional being bound to Fire. He released it from the phylactery, and it began to take over my mind. When you took the power of Fire from me, it was released from my mind. Without another receptacle to go into, it dissipated. I'm free. I'm me!”

“Well, now that it's gone, here's your power back.” I said, moving to return to the control room. “I'll just flip this into reverse, and-”

“NO!” he interrupted me. “I never want anything to do with that cursed power again! I will remain myself, with my own will, or not remain at all!”

“Good answer.” I said, and released his straps. He fell with a thump to the ground, and Elia helped him up.

“Now let's hurry.” I said. “The sooner we strengthen the Multiverse, the better for all of us.”

We hurried and hobbled back to the office, where David and Deirdre were waiting along with Darya and Peter, who was holding the device.

“Niccolo?” Darya said, shocked.

“It's okay.” Elia said. “It's him again.”

She outlined the events of the last ten or so minutes in quick, broad strokes.

“My God...” said Peter.

“That's awful!” exclaimed Deirdre.

“All I can do is hope that someday, I can make up for the things I have done.” said Niccolo. “I will not ask for your forgiveness. I do not deserve it.”

“Indeed not.” Elia said. “After all, only those who have done wrong would deserve forgiveness. You have done nothing that requires forgiveness, so we will not give it to you.”

Then she gave him a hug. Well, 'hug' is something of an understatement. I thought for a moment that she was trying to remove his head via his rib cage. Soon enough, Darya and Peter joined in.

“Right then, almost everything is right in the Multiverse.” I said. “Let's take care of that last little thing.”

We boarded the Freyja, and headed to coordinates that Puck had provided discreetly. When I realized that the coordinates were on Easter Island, I came very close to swearing. Honestly, this frickin' world...

We arrived at the island a few days later, and Puck set the Freyja into a low hover. We disembarked one by one, and headed to the center of the island. I took a seat on the head of a moai, and addressed the crew.

“It's been a long road, getting from there to here. It's been a long time, but our time is finally near. And we will see our dream-” I was interrupted by Aislin shoving me off of the statue. I landed nearby with a chuckle.

“Ok, ok. According to the plans, we each place a hand on the watch thingy. It has a spot where the Fire Battery can connect, which I suspect was deliberate. I suggest we not think about that too much. Well, unless someone else has a flowery motivational speech, I say we get this thing done.”

“Sounds fine by me.” David said. There was a general murmur of assent, and we gathered in a circle around the watch. Peter plugged in the Fire Battery, and we each laid a finger on the casing. Nothing happened.

“Er, Peter? Are you sure you- WOAH!” I began to ask, but was cut off by the device's activation. It started to glow brightly, and it almost hurt to look at it. It began to shimmer with more colors than I'd know how do describe, and a fierce wind picked up. It rose off of the ground, still glowing incandescently, with a veritable whirlwind swirling around it. I felt a drop on my face, and looked up. A massive thunderstorm had formed around the island, soaking everything around. The watch glowed even brighter, and it released a beam of pure white light straight up, which branched out into strands, forming a web of light which seemed to capture the sky, before pulsing once, twice, a third time. Then it disappeared, along with the glow, the storm, and the watch, leaving eight very soggy Avatars on the island.

“You were saying something?” Peter asked after a moment.

“Nope.” I said. “Nothing at all.”

Then we all broke out into laughter, the weariness of the past few days being felt.

“What was with the storm?”

About an hour had passed, and Aislin and I were sitting on opposite moai, facing each other. Elia and Niccolo had gone somewhere for a stroll, and the others were playing in the surf. What can I say? Beaches are awesome, especially on tropical islands. I answered Aislin's question.

“I figure it was to boost the Elemental reaction.” I theorized. “We were on an island, surrounded by the ocean. The storm started throwing lightning and wind around, and set a few bushes ablaze.”

“Ah.” she said, epiphanizing. “Fire, water, earth, and air. Plus, the creation of ozone from the charged air, the destruction of several plants, and of course the order of the ritual and the chaos of the storm itself.”

“Wow. You're smarter than you look.” I said.

She pushed me into the water. Sometimes I think my mouth is out to kill me.

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After some time, we left Easter Island, and dropped the Physical Avatars off at Donatello Industries. They bade us farewell, and we flew off triumphantly into the sunset. Totally my idea.

“So, now what?” I asked.

“Now, we go home.” said Puck.

“How do we do that?” I asked. “It took the power of Asgard to send us here in the first place. How are we supposed to-”

I was interrupted by a flash of light. The view out the window changed, and I noted the Sears Tower.

“So.” I said. “Chicago.”

“Yep.” Puck said. “By the way, Freyja sends her thanks, and wanted me to tell you that she'd be happy to have guests again someday, but for the moment, she's very busy recalibrating Asgard.”

“Well, so long as everything's okay.” I said.

“What about the part where we're in a large flying ship, hovering over Chicago?” Aislin asked.

“Oh. Oh snap.”

“Need some assistance?” came a familiar voice over the ship's radio.

A few hours later, the Freyja was parked in a hangar at O'Hare, safely covered in several layers of security and a good cover story. Merlin stood at the door along with Neil as we disembarked.

“Well.” he said, his eyes sparkling merrily. “It would seem you've been busy.”

“You have no idea.” I said. “But I can tell you all about it, on one condition.”

“Oh?” he asked. “And what would that be?”

“You provide lunch, we'll provide the story.”

“Deal.” he said, chuckling. “Come, I know a place that makes the most divine bagel sandwiches.”

And so, after facing puzzles, gods, angels, demons, and our own frailties, we went to have a nice chat over bagels.




END BOOK I